Sunday, 26 July 2009


This feels like virginal territory and rebirth for me right now.
How do I make contact with like minded people?
Where do I go from here?
How do I find a Master, who would understand that leaving my family is not at this moment in time possible?
And yet: I long to be owned and submissive!!!!!

Thursday, 23 July 2009

So This Is Me.

So this is me and here I am.

This blog is about my life, such as it is,
built on a foundation of lies, lies and more.

You see there is very little that is the truth in my life.

Here is the truths:-

I am a mum of 3.
I live in London.
I live with my partner while I love very much does not give me what I need and I have no way of telling him and explaining it to him as he has already said that it is NOT what he wants.

So far so good, well goodish haha.

There are reasons why I lie and although I know that people will judge me, maybe they should hold back at first and wait to find out why my whole life is a lie.

It's not as simple as I got up one morning and thought "How best can I ruin my own life?"

There were other people in this big fat life, that is my life, but they are all dead now and I am the only one left standing. Except my older brother, who warned me against this lie and it's consequences, the only one who tried to protect me from it all, for my own sake. However even he believes that it has gone too far now to turn back the clock and put it all right.
There are people who would be deeply hurt if the truth was revealed. Damage to innocent people who don't deserve it.